it's been a long time, but sometimes words are difficult to be found in this jungle of spring activities (almost summer).
it's been a long time and it's not because i feel lazy or because i've forgotten. It's because beauty and emotions need their time to be expressed through words. And i'm not good at that.
June 7th. Launch in ottawa. The official capital of canada. But it's not because of that that the 1st ever launch of #10 has taken place in the Bytown (old name for ottawa). It's because of the ladies.
The ladies are the organizers of the Ladyfest Ottawa www.ladyfestottawa.com , and it was their idea to make the zine launch in their city. You know, before all this idea of the queer zine tour was born, they invited me to come to their place and they told me, we want to organize an event for the zine.
I've never had this idea of making big launches, or any launch at all for a zine. And there they were, these amazing people i hardly know inviting me to a wonderfully mad idea. I answered what i felt. That's amazing.
It was not amazing.
Amazing are things you can describe as amazing.
But during this zine launch i didn't have any words for it. Amazing is too short for it.
We arrived (we = sonia, amelia and me) with a craiglist lift in ottawa on friday evening. Then go out with best hostess erin, and go dancing with sparkling smile zaheen who took us to a gay bar where there was the ladies' night. I had problems getting into the bar coz i didn't have my ID card (so please remember: always have yr ID card when yr going into a bar in Ontario, Canada), but i finally got in when i took off my glasses (whatever but true). Dance dance dance surrounded by all kind of lesbian and queer people from ottawa.
Next morning we (erin, zaheen, nikoo, heather and me)had a nice meeting to get everything ready for the great evening. It was at this mment that erin told me about the puppet show stage. 6 feet tall!! like 2 m!
All red velvet and wood and such a wonderful painting "It's raining dykes". Puppets were awesome! and that little post-spider....i knew at this moment that there was gonna be difficult for me not to burst in tears during the show.
Specially that i'm such a drama queen....
In the afternoon we went around Bank st. with leslie, looking for last minute details, and sangria ingredients.
After sangria and pizza (yumyum), we headed to Venus Envy www.venusenvy.ca the best sex-shop in canada!! (true true). Because the launch was gonna be there, in this amazing space full with books, dildos, comixxx and ladies who OWN the space (yesyes).
The place is already gorgeous, but with the 50 dyke rain drops that Erin and Anton had created it seemed a dream come true.
It was already a dream come true.
DJ CPI played great music, as always, and the launch started. Jayda Kelsall began reading an extract for her zine Small Town Genesis.
You know when you know something magic is happening?
Because what she was reading was so linked to the cartoons i've made for #10. And even if i was not suppossed to read any extract from the zine, i couldn't but read this part that mirrored so much Jayda amazing writing.
Some blabla from us (leslie and me) and the puppet show started.
I went behing the stand because i didn't want all the public to see me crying.
I did my best, so just some tiny tears come off..
i'm still trying to figure out what those feelings are. Like. Some part of my comics were been played by great puppets. But indeed, those comics are extracts from my real life. It was like seeing a puppet show on my own life. And it felt so full of emotions and beauty.
No words will ever thank you enough, ladies, for those precious moments.
Going out afterwards with you, and feeling so full up of bigger emotions than me. Jenn asked me, how it felt, Heather asked me, how it felt to see your life on a show. Any of my answers will never be enough.
And i'm not good with words.
I'm happy that you're all (Jayda, Erin, Jenn, Zaheen, i hope all the others can make it too) coming to the montreal launch, 18th july.
I'm excited to have you slept at our flats.
I'm full of smiles and summer days, because you're coming to my second house, the ste.emilie skillshare.
I love you ladies.
Thanx for all your support.
Thanx for all your friendship.
Keep on fighting and having pleasure while doing it.